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[Monday
26.1.09 @ 12:40pm] |
it's been awhile, hasn't it?
i sometimes forget about livejournal, i've been kinda busy the past few months.. trying to get my figurative shit together and being quite successful in doing so.
i started school last week and i'm really excited, as i haven't been in school pretty much since high school. it's nice to have something to do and be putting my mind to use. i'm only taking two classes (although i signed up for four) because of my work schedule and my rent going up as of friday.
quasi crazy roommate moving out today and i'm getting her room. so stoked. no more cats, no more hostile environment.. it should be really, really good.
overall, i'm very happy with the way things are going for me right now. back in school, makin' money, my super nice (super expensive!) bike should be done in the next two to three weeks AND i have a great boyfriend.
YEP, THAT'S RIGHT! i have a boyfriend, first time in about 4 years now. i thought i'd never see the day! we've been together about three weeks now and he's already the best man to enter my life since my dad haha.. he is amazing and i am in love and it feels so good to have something like this. i seriously thought i was going to never have something like this again, and was totally okay with that, but i'm even more okay with what i've got.
smiles all around!
i should get back to work, as i am doing absolutely nothing right now..
i hope everyone out there is doing well.
it feels good to be back.
xo.
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[Thursday
27.11.08 @ 10:02pm] |
i've been having great days.
'bout time.
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[Monday
24.11.08 @ 11:18am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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its monday, i'm in love.
sure is nice..
xo.
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| tonight |
[Wednesday
19.11.08 @ 4:01pm] |
i'm going to see GWAR. again.
that's pretty much all i have to say about that.
xo.
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[Monday
10.11.08 @ 1:10pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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i've come to the sad realization that i am a bonafide alcoholic.
this is terrible news.
i opt to stop drinking during the week, cause it's a bit draining being hungover at work every single day. let's see how that goes.
other than that, life is great. my friends are great, my situations with pretty much every aspect in my life right now are great, i have a good job and work with the two most understanding and genuinely nice people i could work with and make more than decent money, have the most flexible and socially pleasing schedule ever, and weekends off.. i'm seriously super lucky in the job department.
i'm in the process of buliding a new bike. peer pressure steered me in the fixed gear direction. it's going to be beautiful and should be assembled by the end of the month. the total cost of it will be end up being about $1,500, but MY GOD will it be worth it. SOOOO over my 85 pound piece of shit bike. out with the old, mmmmmyes.
i've been making lots of new friends that have been really influential to me in an artistic sort of way. quirky, intelligent, fun-loving kids are what i need right now and i'm so happy i've found such an amazing group of people to surround myself with.
i'm going to new york in the springtime to visit my lovelies on the east coast. i'm very excited.
i hope each and every one of you is feeling magical.
i also hope this hangover goes away fast status, i mean FUCK.
xo.
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[Tuesday
4.11.08 @ 4:32pm] |
i need to get on a normal sleep schedule.
i get home from work every day, take a nap that lasts anywhere between 45 minutes and 3.5 hours, and i stay up until 5 am, and wake up at 8:30 to be completely miserable at work all day.
repeat, repeat, repeat.
i feel like an old lady. weekends are even worse. all i do is the same routine, minus the going to work. fuck.
it's been raining like fuck here in sacramento. it's gorgeous. i'm glad we actually have season changes here! leaves fall, it gets cold at night, the air is crisp always. and fresh air! praise the lord.
last night i went karaoke-ing for my friend nash's birthday and had the time of my life with some really great old friends and really great new friends. stayed up until 6 am, went to try and score a free organ i saw on craigslist (that some old battleax cat ladies swooped from me, grr), then booked it to work two hours late.
my face hurts.
i'm delirious.
karaoke again tonight. i'm addicted.
xo.
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[Wednesday
17.9.08 @ 2:56pm] |
it's been a million years, eh?
well, i'm alive and well.
sacramento has been good to me.
i hate it sometimes, miss home too much, but i'm doing well and have a more than decent job that pays more than decent money and i have more than decent friends, so no REAL complaints over here.
i was bedridden for a little over a month due to a freak bike accident which resulted in all the skin on the bottom of my left foot being ripped off, but now i'm back in business (and how!)!
my fifteen minutes of fame came to me in the oddest of ways.
check it out here and think about how awful a person i am.
if anyone cares, i'm going to be in LA on october 3rd-6th. party down-age will ensue.
holler at me if you wanna hang out cause my time is limited (unfortunately)!
i don't know what else to say..
i hope everyone is doing well.
especially you in the green.
xo.
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[Monday
19.5.08 @ 5:32pm] |
life back in this place is as i thought it'd be.
nothings really changed, and i'm not sure if that's good or depressing.. haven't quite figured it out.
i'm glad to be back though, in spite of slightly awkward situations.. i'm doing just fine.
the past few days have been spent drunk, or trying to get drunk.
maybe it's this heat or something, i don't know.. i'm not trying to be some alcoholic.
i suppose it's okay being as how i haven't been much of a drinker the past few months.
make up for lost time. i'm terrible.
also, i need a job.
fuck.
$$$, fuck that too
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[Wednesday
14.5.08 @ 10:53am] |
last day in los angeles.
really. unreal.
it will be spent doing hallucinogenic drugs at the beach with my fortune cookie.
tomorrow, i leave at 9am..
the long, boring drive alone.
xo.
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[Monday
12.5.08 @ 9:41pm] |
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i'm feeling pretty weightless
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[Saturday
10.5.08 @ 1:01pm] |
What animal frightens you most, and why?
men.
no, really? i'd say any large sea animal. anything bigger than me that lives in the ocean. ho. ly. shit.
t minus 5 days in los angeles.
wooowww.. i really can't believe i'm doing this. i mean, i can.. but i can't.
shit is going to be so weird.
i saw mister lonely last night. been waiting way tooooo long for that. it was very good. it was exactly how i thought it'd be, and then some. seeing all the trailers for it and whatnot, i thought it was totally out of harmony korine's element.. didn't look anything like any of his other films. but he, of course, didn't fail to deliver that ever present strangeness that is him. perfect. A+.
i think my appetite for hard liquor has finally subsided. i just can't take it these days. just smelling it completely turns me off, not to mention my possible ulcer keeping me from indulging in the sweet fermentation. oh well.. i don't mind sticking with beer. i ♥ beer. just gotta ride my bike more. carbz.
so i'm still not done packing and i'm just sitting around my cousins house watching top model.
i gotta get out of here and get shit in order.
'till next time..
xo.
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[Monday
5.5.08 @ 1:17pm] |
Are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo?
seriously?
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[Sunday
4.5.08 @ 12:43pm] |
i just realized i didn't finish that last post..
more weird shit:
-i had a dream about 2 weeks ago.. when i was sleeping next to this boy i thought things were going great with. in the dream, he was being really rude to me. totally unlike how he is in real life. incredibly mean-spirited, for no reason. and it had to do with another girl. he was rubbing the fact that he'd ditched me for another girl in my face. the next morning, i told him "i had this weird dream last night.. and you were being really mean to me in it." "i don't even want to know what happened.. i wouldn't ever be mean to you." two weeks later, he isn't talking to me and has a new girlfriend.. and is pretty much rubbing it in my face.
-yesterday, i was thinking about all the people i wanted to see before i left los angeles.. friends of mine i haven't seen in awhile that i feel i need one last hoorah with. last night, i saw almost all of them, all by weird chance. i saw two of them together, not even knowing that they knew one another.
-i've had deja vu 5 times in the past 3 days. this, in itself, is really strange to me.
i don't know what's going on with my life. i think all this may mean something.. but i don't want to get too into it.
maybe things are supposed to be this way.
that, or i'm going to die soon :/
i hope will is alive.
as of right now, i have no idea where he is and he has my bag with every important thing that i own in it.. including $400 CASH that i need to move in a few days.
i really hope he isn't in jail or lying in a gutter somewhere.
i'm really freaking out.
sinking feeling in the stomach.
what the fuck.
xo.
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[Sunday
4.5.08 @ 2:11am] |
life is more and more like a (fucked) movie these days.
ups, downs, ins, outs.. i'm just glad i'm keeping a level head.
on another note, i've been getting these really strange, happenstance coincidences (redundant?) happening in my life.
i'm going to make a list of instances.. this is a "cliff's notes" version.
there's more where this came from.
-i woke up this morning with the song "ain't no sunshine" by al green/the jackson 5 in my head. not sure why. i haven't heard it in weeks. there is no real reason for this, as you can see. maybe i heard it in a dream? anyhow, all day i've been singing this song. that and "girl" by the beatles, but that song is always in my head.. anyhow, will and i went out tonight and met this random dude at the grocery store and came to his house to pregame for this party that we invited him to attend with us. we walk into his house, and his compy is playing "old school" (will ferrell, luke wilson, etc.) and what do i hear? "ain't no sunshine" playing in the background of some scene i can't remember.. he then decides old school is boring and opens up iTunes.. first song to play? "girl" by las beatles. whoa.
-
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[Thursday
1.5.08 @ 10:59pm] |
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music |
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saves the day - sell my old clothes, i'm off to.. |
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If you had a crowbar and could smash anything in your home or office, what would it be? Why?
this is stupid questionz.
probably television. or the walls, make one big room.
in other news, i really can't believe i'm going to be gone as of this time next week.
wow.
i don't know how i feel.
i'm excited, but also dreading it.. incredibly.
i don't know, i don't know, i don't know.
will i ever?
xo.
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[Wednesday
30.4.08 @ 1:17pm] |
i found out yesterday that i was played for a fool.
"unintentionally."
how can people be such shit to people who care, intensely at that, for them?
it will never make any sense. '
nobody is worth trusting these days
a homeless man gave me $100 soon after i found this out.
i was in the bike shop, picking up my baby, and he walked in raving about how he'd found $2,000.
the bike shop attendant said "you should give HER some money."
i walked away with a crisp, REAL $100 bill and promptly went to the art supply store.
went to pasadena, went to pick up some film that ended up being blank.
bought myself a new book and went to the bar.
a jim and coke, long island, 2 irish car bombs and a pitcher of beer later, shit gets hazy.
apparently i threw a glass (stolen from the bar) at a vehicle, with people in it, while walking down the street and continued to walk like absolutely nothing. in public. many people around.
i don't remember this.
scored a sweet dress and 2 pairs of shoes.
met my new favourite bartender.
saw some old work friends.
it was a stupid, glorious, depressing, happy day.
hopefully today is a good one.
xo.
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[Wednesday
30.4.08 @ 12:09am] |
What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble?
being incredibly too trusting. that or being obsessively spontaneous.
i think both "traits" leave me feeling like an idiot.. too naive for my own good, even though i've literally been to hell and back.
i'm constantly finding (or trying to find) the "good" in people, but it's never really there.
nothing is real.
everything is everything.
end transmission.
thanks lj.
making me feel and shit.
xo.
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[Monday
28.4.08 @ 11:16pm] |
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music |
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ex factor - lauryn hill |
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so has anyone else discovered this "writer's block" thing on the LJ homepage?
fucking genius!
i'm always wanting to update this thing, daily, but never know what the fuck to say cause i'm a douche!
totally using this, forever, every day.
begin:
Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever seen one?
YES. and YES, i think. when i was a child, i always saw these sort of shadow-y figures, but never thought too much of it cause i thought everyone else could see them as well. once, when i was about 10, i was at my grandparents' old house, in their back "rec. room" (although there wasn't much "rec." going on there, ever) practicing some dancemoves or something equally awesome. broad daylight. and i hear this sort of grumbling, gargling sound coming from these huge speakers they had connected to the soundsystem. i turned around slowly, trying to figure out where it was coming from.. 2 seconds later, the noise said my name.
i never ran so fast in my life. scariest shit ever.
just a few months ago, my dad (oddly enough) asked me "did you ever experience any weird shit at grandma and grandpa's old house?" i told him that story, which i'd never really told anyone else cause it's creepy and irrelevant, and i LITERALLY saw his face turn white. i asked "what!?" really frantically, cause i literally felt his energy change, and he told me that he and my mother used to hear the same things.. shit from radios and speakers.
a friend of his was staying over one night, woke up around 5 am just saying "i'm leaving, i'm fucking leaving" my dad asked why and she replied "there's a little girl crying in the corner." there was also a ghostly man in a tophat that haunted the neighborhood. everyone saw it. my aunt saw it in her sleep once. he was in flames and staring at her through her bedroom window, before jumping onto the roof of the house.
writing this shit is creeping me out.
i'm done.
thanks lj.
xo.
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[Friday
25.4.08 @ 6:02pm] |
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music |
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(i'm) stranded - the saints |
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i wanna get married just for the bachelorette party.
this man tomorrow. fuck.
i'm really glad that all i'll ever need to "get over" things is a sober, yet glorious, evening on the town with lovely ladies and a good solid sleep.
99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.
xo.
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[Thursday
24.4.08 @ 3:23pm] |
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music |
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'till there was you - beatlezzzz |
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nothing is ever what it seems.
why do people have to be so typical?
why do people feel they have to lie to me, when all i've been (and i'll ever be) is 100% truthful, about everything?
why do i let it bother me so much?
why do i blow shit out of proportion?
with all that said, i'm pretty sure i'm just being crazy.
everything is fine, really.
couldn't be better.
coachella weekend, word.
leaving LA in 15 days. wow.
jesus h. christ.
i couldn't be more happy/scared/lonely/depressed/excited/confused/fucked/loved than i am right now.
what the fuck?!?!
xo.
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[Tuesday
15.4.08 @ 12:36am] |
i can't seem to get anything right.
goodbye.
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[Tuesday
8.4.08 @ 5:21pm] |
life at work couldn't be more boring.
especially when i work for 10+ hours, alone.
there's only so much i can do in this little space for that amount of time.
i'm having a yard sale this sunday.
any and all are welcome.
i'm going to make signs and a flyer on this thing so people know where to go, if they feel like it.
come buy stuff from me!
i am so poor :[
if i know you, i'll give you a special friend discount ;)
IIIIFFFFF youknowwhatimean!
this post is useless!
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[Monday
7.4.08 @ 8:53pm] |
i'm quitting my job soon cause i bust my ass and nobody seems to notice.
fuck that, right?
i'm still moving though.
i'm hoping to get a job at this place i used to work, but at a bay area location, making more money, doing something i'm really good at and actually have experience in and people to back me.
i really hope it works out.
i'm going up there in a week and a half to figure it all out.
oh joy!
so if i know anything about taxes, i'll be getting a $1,500 return.
holy schnikies! i could really use it, beez!
sold the 'ol battle tank.
car-less for good.
i still wake up in the morning and open the door hoping to see her there.
*tearz*
at least if i get the job in the bay, it's only a 15 minute drive, so i can ride my bike.
work dem legz!
i want to do the sf/la bike ride this june.
dangum! i hope i can get in top form by then.
who's with me?!?!
hopefully after my move, i'll have some money left over so i can go on my NY trip i postponed.
i need to be there.
i gotzta be dur.
i've been feeling good lately, in spite of my ruining people's lives.
get that dirt off ya shoulder.
hope you're all doing well.
especially you in the blue.
xo.
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[Tuesday
25.3.08 @ 10:07am] |
my creative gears are in motion.
fucking finally.
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